James in Indiana on parental alienation: It feels like what parents who lose children to accidents or illness go through. Except I get to go through it over, and over, and over again without ever getting any closure.
Eric in Indiana on parental alienation: It's painful to be yanked from my daughter, and when the courts finally do get me some visitation my child is scared because of lies told. Then I rebuild the relationship only to start back over again.
Frank in Alabama on parental alienation: It is the greatest heart breaking and wrenching experience of my life. My sons have suffered tremendously for what my ex, her lawyer and the judge did in court. There is no love like a Father's love!!!
Matthew in Virginia on parental alienation: I have yet to see my 4 year old twin girls. My counselor called the depression I've had over the situation similar to losing a child. Even though I know they are alive, the act of legally kidnapping your children is a very deep pain.
Rex in Michigan on parental alienation: I remember the pain of dropping my boys off after a weekend visit and having to stop down the street because I could not see the road because of the tears in my eyes. Definitely the MOST pain I have ever experienced in my life.
Paul in Colorado on parental alienation: In June 2002, I was "allowed" to have weekly phone visits with my children, though I'd never done anything bad or negative to them. On one phone call, after my ex, her lover, and their friends, had missed several of these phone calls with me through several types of excuses, and I explained to her what her responsibilities, according to the Court Order, were, she, her lover, and her friends all jeered me over the speaker, which I didn't know was on at the time. I heard "No, no, no, you don't HAVE any rights, you're just the Dad!" - First, each missed phone call brought an increasing amount of panic, because I KNEW what she was doing, but I had no way to get to the courts fast enough, nor could I prove what they were doing. I also panicked because I KNEW, even if I did contact the court, it wouldn't do me any good, that the courts weren't going to do anything. So, when they finally did disappear, in late August early September 2003, I was utterly crushed, and it took me nearly two weeks of dealing with a loss I was certain I would never recover, nor recover from, before I could even begin attempting to fight.
Amber in Colorado: As the step-mom in the family it has felt like PTSD has taken over our home. Watching my husband cry in his sleep and knowing that there was absolutely nothing I can do to make it better for him, has been the most heartbreaking and helpless feeling I've ever felt. It has torn us apart.
Matthew in Arkansas on parental alienation as a non-custodial father: It's terrible not getting to attend school functions, seeing school work, or anything else daughter is involved in. Her mom quit her job, to be unemployed and move daughter out of state. It's heartbreaking to be looked at by the court as nothing else but a bank.
Kim in Iowa on parental alienation as a non-custodial grandmother: Miss my Granddaughter, who is not getting to benefit from the legacy of a wonderful father and amazing paternal family!
Thomas in Michigan on parental alienation as a non-custodial father: I have not seen my daughter in 6 years now. She graduated this last school year, and I did not get to see her walk. She is off to college this year, and I do not get to say good luck or have fun.
Wayne in Illinois on parental alienation as a non-custodial father: A pain like no other,for both parent and child. i also feel betrayed by the authorities as I had no idea at the time just how slanted the courts are in favor of mothers and that there is no evidence of any wrong doing needed, just a Mothers word.
Teresa: It's horrid and the courts do nothing. It's devastating and the only people hurting are the kids.
Kimi in Ohio on parental alienation as a non-custodial step-mother: It took 3 years of fighting, over $30,000....well $60,000 between both of them...My step-son could have benefited from that money. She has filed contempt every year since. I know we are so lucky, but it is scary and exhausting to always be living like we are in litigation. The hardest part is the the stuff he comes home saying and the distress it causes him. She has never been held accountable for anything she has done or said and we have to walk on egg shells. He is still a little guy, and I worry for the future but we are enjoying what we have now and will always fight for him.
Ken in Massachusetts on parental alienation as a non-custodial father: It feels like you're being punished and the thing you care about the most is being used to do it. You come to the point where the thing that brought you the most joy (your children) now on some level also serves as a reminder of your anger, hopelessness and sadness. You enter a state of endless morning because the wound never heals unless you opt to not care anymore and where does that leave your kids? It never heals because every letter from the state, every court appearance, every demand form the "custodial parent", simply knowing the words "custodial parent" exist, every time your limited time ends with your kids the wound opens just a little more.
Amber in New Jersey on parental alienation as a non-custodial step-mother: I have witnessed the destruction that lawyers and Judges have inflicted and evil behavior that they have allowed to have happen. My heart breaks for all of you. I will continue to pray for reform. This is hell in Earth.
Cate in Massachusetts on parental alienation as a non-custodial step-mother: My boyfriend now see's neither of his kids in 3 yrs... the daughter will text but its always arguments...nasty comments...the son nothing.... they have been so brainwashed...his own family sides with her and non of them have had contact with my bf in many years... very sad situation... A veteran my bf gets no respect from family or the court system.. we are doing the right things and its your typical "pay and go away"... all about CONTROL .. shouldn't the love for your children and what is best for them suppose to outweigh your hatred for your ex spouse... these children are a product of what you thought once was LOVE... they deserve better.. and that's BOTH PARENTS.. especially with older children if one or the other parent is a JERK they are able to determine that on their own.. CHANGES NEED TO TAKE PLACE AND FAST!!!
Sarah in California on parental alienation as a non-custodial step-mother: the courts are bias. The system and their processes are an extortion system meant to keep the minors in the system until they are 18 and set up to fail.
Brad in Wisconsin on parental alienation as a non-custodial father: My wife took half of our children. Now the half with me love me and trust me, but the half with her think I'm crazy and are afraid to be near me. If the problem was me, the ones with me would have problems, too. I pray every night that their scars will heal.
Gina in California on parental alienation as a non-custodial step-mother: It feels like being trapped inside a box and having all the air sucked out. Knowing you are innocent but being handed a life sentence without anybody hearing or caring to know the truth. To watch your children being tortured, lied to, suffer the worst abuse you can imagine.....and they believe in their minds THAT is love, life and being who they are supposed to be as a parent to their children.....and not being able to protect or help them. Helplessness. Frustration. Reality.
Mark in Massachusetts on parental alienation as a non-custodial father: Mother got to use the standard issue "kid is sick" card on Christmas. It is in every agreement the commonwealth puts out giving the mom the right to cancel a visit due to illness. We had over 50 presents waiting under the tree for my daughter and were so excited to watch her open them and i woke up to the "deathly ill" text Christmas morning. Merry Christmas!
Paul in Massachusetts on parental alienation as a non-custodial father: I pay an irrational amount of child support for my oldest son, that is drastically effecting the life of my other child. The courts have essentially deemed one if my children more important then the other.
David in Maryland on parental alienation as a non-custodial father: -Parental Alienation should be considered a FELONY because it's one of highest forms of CHILD ABUSE and Cruel and Unusual punishment to our innocent children. There has to be another means of feeding the Criminal Justice and Social Services system other than allowing our kids to grow up with such Mental Anguish which leads to Stress, which leads to Depression which leads to Irrational thought process which often times lead to Suicide and/or Homicide in the worst case scenarios.
Mark in Massachusetts on parental alienation as a non-custodial father: happened just this weekend..
Me: "Daddy loves you!"
Kid: "no, daddy no love me. Mommy loves me"
Me: " well daddy loves you to. Who told u I don't"
"Kid: "mommy"
Took all of my strength to not get on my car drive to her home and do something I'd regret the rest of my life.
Terence in North Carolina on parental alienation as a non-custodial father: Parents that are ALIENATED by policies and Laws, feels like they have been KICKED OFF THE PLANET! I feel everyday is a day of recovering from a living lost! It's a whole in the Spirit, Heart, Mind and Soul! I have not seen my Children in years. Its Not that I don't want to!! I haven't had a apartment, and if they did come in from out of town, how could I feed them, and have a good visiting time with them!! My money is close to NOTHING!!! Every two weeks its a fight to have food and shelter and car fare for work! I just got my apartment each month I have to be late or ask for time to pay!! I NEED THE CHILD SUPPORT UNIT AND THE COURT TO FIND A FARE WAY FOR BOTH PARENTS AND CHILDREN!! The COST IS TO GREAT!!! THE LOST IS TOO PAINFUL!! THE TIME LOST!
Susan in Pennsylvania on parental alienation as a non-custodial grandmother. I am grandma and the boys were told their father did not want them. The oldest (8 years old) is confused and depressed. The youngest (7) angry and defiant. The boys now know differently and want more time with dad. They get to say so on 2/21 in court. Pray for our boys. What kind of mother tells her son "I will never let that happen"?
Phil in Montana on parental alienation as a non-custodial father: I am by far better off then many. Though one single day without my boy's hurts like nothing I have ever experienced before. The sleepless nights, haunting, wondering, praying for their well being. Trying to walk softly around to keep the horrible battle at a low. Standing by only to watch with horror and disbelief, each of the new daily occurrences helplessly, painfully. Hopeful for minimal impact on our beautiful and loving boys!
Erilizi in North Carolina on parental alienation as a non-custodial step-mother: As the wife of a man whose daughter's mother purposely withholds his child & uses her to hurt him, it is awful. It is really like losing a child, but she's still alive. There is dread, unreasonable financial cost for attorneys, helplessness, attempted manipulation from the mother, & facing other people's perception that he's a "deadbeat" because she tells everyone he is not involved even though he pays child support & she actually PREVENTS him from being actively involved in his daughter's life. It should seriously be called LEGAL KIDNAPPING. That is what it is. It shouldn't be dressed up with fancy words.
Moses in Massachusetts on parental alienation as a non-custodial father: Grief. Paralyzing, soul-killing emptiness and longing.
Tangie in Pennsylvania on parental alienation as a non-custodial mother: I allowed the children to stay w/ father temporarily while I got myself together feeling it was the mature thing to do in their best interest. Now I'm being alienated like I'm a criminal or dead beat mother because he won't share custody, I live 5 blocks from my children & only get Summer vists & at his convenience & the court seems to help perpetuate his ability to use them as pawns. He barely even answers the phone so I can talk to them & they have other siblings in my household we all are hurting. He seems to get away with this bc he makes more money, he owns I rent, my case to modify was retracted because I didn't afford yet another court ordered class/mediation , since when did the parent who made more money become the better parent ? all I was asking was shared custody. And he is slamming me financially with a gross support order, it's insane. I understand I have an obligation but when I'm paying more to him than he once did to me & he earns twice what I do? & I barely get time with them? Grossly being raped by the system fire no good reason. no addict, criminal, or abusive, kids weren't even "taken" , from me. I was misled & gave my life away & the system didn't protect my rights.
Cole in Arkansas on parental alienation as a non-custodial step-mother: Arkansas is the worst DHS treats you like a criminal there taking almost half of my salary 900 a month . I paid voluntary for 8 years.she decides to take more and I'm left not being able to provide a stable environment when I do have my children, not to mention any recreational activities. The system is communist. And must be revamped shared parenting is the only way to go. Or let the children decide.
Alan in South Carolina on parental alienation as a non-custodial father: horrible feeling. The courts do nothing to keep good fathers in their children's lives. I do everything I can to share in their lives.
Teresa in Missouri on parental alienation as a non-custodial step-mother: Parental alienation feels like having someone taken away from your life and never returned. My mom's mother did to this to my sister by brainwashing her with lies about our father. They have not talked for about 7 years now.
Curtis in California on parental alienation as a non-custodial uncle: Having my nephews pulled away from me by their mother is like being attached to the machine on The Princess Bride, the life draining from me and her at the control determining just how much suffering each minute holds.
Jeff in Colorado on parental alienation as a non-custodial father:In eight years I've gained 2 overnights per month, and am still less than 96 nights per year. Sole decision making has been clarified but not followed by the mom.
Lori in Texas discusses parental alienation as a step-mother: I am the step-mom of a wonderful young man who will be 19 on Sunday. I've been in his life since he was 3. We lived 2 blocks away from him and the mother in a town with a pop. of less than 2500. And we saw him ONLY 4 days a month. The court order said the MINIMUM was 2 weekends a month and that was her MAXIMUM. The crazy crap she's pulled is coming back to bite her now....he and his dad are now finally able to build the relationship they SHOULD have had years ago. And one month after he turned 18, he moved out and in with us! She is paying the consequences of her actions and will grow old lonely and alone. But we still have no idea what the extent of the damage she did to that poor kid....only time will tell.
Gerald in New Jersey discusses parental alienation as a non-custodial father: The feeling of emptiness, and paralysis knowing that your parenting time is decided based on Gender biased laws. Its comparable to being run over by a bus just to get back up and a semi hits you.
Dan in California discusses parental alienation as a non-custodial parent: I feel like I'm trapped behind an unbreakable glass wall watching my kids being abused, kicked and beat emotionally, being lied to and told to hate me by their mom and grandma and I can't do anything to protect or stop the hurt. I see my kids crying wanting to call out to me, but are stopped by the fear & consequences of going against the power of a mentally sick mother.... So they just repeat the "programmed reply" to everyone that "they can't talk about their dad". The pain of a broken heart is worse than death!
Patricia in Kentucky talking about parental alienation as a non-custodial grandmother: This hurts,tears families apart, and destroys kids ability to function as successful adults later in life. Time with my grandchildren is more difficult. I love all my grandchildren and miss the time we once had before the custodial mother moved them five states away. It's been seven years since I have seen them.
Clarence in Germany as a non-custodial grandfather: Kept out lives of my grand children from age 7 to adulthood because Germany has policy to keep a divorced foreign parent out of the country so the children will be 100% German in culture and language.-- policy of the Judgement, a bureaucracy of Nazi origin. Warning: never marry a German who might divorce. European court has fined Germany 4 times for this, but it continues. I was put in prison twice trying to see my children in Germany, who were hidden by court arrangement. They were turned against me in the worst case Parent Alienation by their psychiatrist mother that you can imagine.
David in Florida on parental alienation as a father: (1) One of the most frustrating things about dealing with Family Court empowered parental alienation is the apathy we tend to get from friends, colleagues, and even our own family members. (2) That the pain and suffering that I have endured throughout this case have made me a stronger person with a never-ending will to prove (to the Court) that parental alienation is real and that the pain and suffering extends to both child and parent. (3) That any attempt at alienating the child(ren) from the other parent should be seen as a direct and willful violation of one of the prime duties of parenthood.
Lance in Massachusetts posted about parental alienation as a non-custodial parent: After DCF fails to help me and my 3 kids due to bias/gender topics and DCF crimes and felonies they committed, It FEELS like my 16yr old mildly autistic son has died as we have not seen each other in 1 year and 3 months now (feels worse than a death). His mom and DCF have manipulated as partners on this case, made no closure to him and he has been hospitalized not once, but 2 times from now being in the mothers care; never did he act like this when he lived with me for 12+ years whom was constantly not seen by his mother by mothers choice for 3,6,9 month periods of times throughout those years. My other ex attacked and beaten me in front of our 2 youngest babies (the boy I had full custody of as well), as I ran through my 3 bedroom apt. to call 911 being chased (this mother later violated her restraining order 4 times yet got placement of these 2 children and then taken away again including her new baby from another man from a spectrum of assortments), DCF refuses me and my kids rights A-Z as I refuse to take a batterers course and therapy, for I was the victim; my kids are in line for an adoption process while undergoing what I call, "the weaning process", changes from unsupervised 1 hour per week, supervised 1 hour per week, supervised 1 hour per month till the judge finally gets to finally hear all of what has been happening over the last 22 months.
Chris in Virginia speaking as a non-custodial father: Parental alienation is the most psychologically and emotionally abusive experience of my life. The children were the sole source of joy in my marriage and when I chose to seek happiness by getting divorced, it became the most painful, expensive and abusive process. Even when I told the Court about clear patterns of denying access and alienation, I was completely ignored by the Court. The Courts are not protecting children. I miss you kids!
Suellen in New York speaking as a non-custodial grandmother: I witnessed a horrible telephone conversation between my fiance and his ex where she was demanding money for medical bills for the children "that she refused to send him copies of". When he told her he still hadn't received the bill copies, she "screamed" at him that he would not see his children until she got more money! That was over four years ago...he hasn't seen his children since. Of course out of his last "biweekly" paycheck of $2,518 he received a Net pay of $400 after taxes, health insurance, and child support. Same ole, same ole.
Dawn in New Jersey speaking as a non-custodial step-mother: having a young child say I'm not allowed to Love you..mommy says so..or never getting to know his father's family...because mommy says that it is too confusing for him to know 'another' set of grandparents..her parents are all he needs...or watching everything in his life from the sidelines and being accused of 'creeping' on him if you see something on Facebook or Twitter and realize..Hey that is my child...alienation often starts even before the divorce..it is a personality trait of the alienator..often repeated with each child(even if by different fathers)Common denominator is the alienator parent.
Brandon and Yasmin in California speaking as a non-custodial husband and wife: my ex wife got knocked up by an in identifiable man, tricked me into raising the kid as if he was mine for 4 1/2 years, and despite proving he wasn't my biological child, they are forcing me to pay $1377 per month, cover all medical bills, and I can't claim him on taxes. That woman has made it a point to cast me out as father an retain me for just support. The judge called her actions despicable for this however the law is on her side which forces me to continue to pay. Why do I even care to battle for freedom again when I'm not even entitled to it?
Kathy in Nebraska speaking as a non-custodial step-mother on parental alienation: I have a personal story that can't be understood in three lines, but I can say that I think maybe our family court system has hurt more children than guns ever have. They are worried about the wrong things. Keep families together as much as possible!!! That was God's plan and we messed it all up!!!!
Jim in California speaking as a non-custodial grandfather: Parental Alienation should be considered a crime as it is emotional child abuse ! As a loving and caring father, it has been horrible to experience and endure while my ex uses the children to get the money related to a percentage of custody that the courts REWARD the parental alienator! It is deplorable that a mother would do such things to young children's minds. My kids have been used as spies and have been so confused from all the false things they were told by a very mentally sick mother. My kids and I are in court ordered reunification therapy now and the damage is being repaired slowly. I will continue to fight for my kids. PA is a crime !
Parental Alienation Is Child Abuse And Must Be Dealt With By Non-Custodial Families
Each day the Family Courts allow Custodial parents to alienate children from parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, step-parents and other family members and the courts seem to allow it time and again. Alienating one parent by the other parent is child abuse and it causes severe conflict, depression, anxiety, and acting out in children who are introduced to it by a parent. Non-Custodial parents and families in this county MUST unite around a central lobby that starts forcing changes in State Legislators and Courts to address the systematic marginalization of our families by custodial parents and Judges.
If you are a non-custodial parent who has experienced alienation from a child and want to include your voice here, then please do not hesitate to contact us and get involved in this serious issue.
Non-Custodial families in this country equal a very large voter base, and more and more of us are created daily. It is time that we unite and starting using or collective voices to force Judges and Legislators to equalize the family courts and make parental alienation a crime in all US States.
There are literally hundreds of thousands of parents in America who have had children abruptly moved to another state and will never see their children till the age of 18 because they do not have $20,000 to get their day in court. JUST on this ground, parental alienation is child abuse and must be grounds for immediate removal of custodial rights.
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